save yourself! stop acting like you don't know.

A year before the break up of my twenties, I wrote in the back of a crossword book "sometimes the head knows what the heart's not ready to feel. And sometimes the heart knows what the heads not ready to action. But the truth is, you already know".

6 months before I departed my business I wrote on a page of my sketchbook, "I don't believe the sacrifice of this to be worth the sacrifice of all the other things I aspire to be and do".

Your heart. Your gut. Your head. They know you well. Even through uncertainty, to experience flurries of doubt & rumination, you have to know something.

To know and to act: those are different skillsets. Knowing is mental. Action is muscle.

But the atrophy of the muscle, is the atrophy of the mental.

If you don't strum the chords, you forget how to read the music.

If you're looking to loose touch with your intuition, defer action. Suppress your desire and allow inconvenience to paralyse you.

Then, let the cycle reinforce and worsen in time as the barrier to change grows greater.

The only times in my life I have ever felt disregulated are the times I prolonged change cycles.

The ability to action my own desires powered by 'early-twenties optimism'. I didn't feel these needs as inconvenient truths, just desires to be solved.

But what about when you don't know what you want? Greet uncertainty with optimism.

Or sometimes, you don't know what you want but you have inkling that what you have isn't. My advice: Leave before it gets weird, forced, or draining.

Knowing when to leave, when to force change, is such a valuable skill.

Because, changing your life, changes your life. Go figure.